Motherhood Mondays: Late Nights

I think I've mentioned a few times that we've had some crazy nights and not a lot of great sleep around here lately. One of my greatest sources of anxiety, while pregnant with Phillip, was how I would deal with the lack of sleep inherent in new parenthood. I was a pretty big baby about my nine hours a night, and how, I wondered would I deal with never being able to sleep in again?!

The funny thing is you just DO manage. Somehow you live on far less sleep than you ever thought possible. And it's just not that bad. My fears have been realized though. I don't remember the last time I got to sleep in. Now occasionally Brian will take the kids downstairs on a Saturday morning to let me try to sleep a little more, which is wonderful, but it rarely amounts to much more sleep.

So, I do miss sleeping in and more than that, I miss long, uninterrupted stretches of sleep, but mostly I'm happy to leave that part of myself behind. The part that "just HAD to sleep nine hours a night." I feel that with the birth of each child and each passing day spent with them, my selfishness is being slowly chipped away.

And, as long as its not literally every hour, I really don't mind getting up at night with my babies. How lucky am I to hold those precious angels in my arms and nurse them back to sleep? How lucky am I to rock them, sing to them, and kiss their downy little heads? I am so SO lucky.

I know someday I will sleep through the night again, but I want to remember what it felt like when this fleeting time is gone. I want to remember how simple it was to solve their problems and make them feel safe and happy and how wonderful it was for them to need me and for me to be everything to them.